


It's All Fun and Games Until

by Nny11



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora is a dumb jock, Best Friend Squad (She-Ra), Bow prevents a multiple homicide daily, Catra does the Etherian equivalent of getting her head stuck in an empty mayo jar, Catra gets the zoomies, Crack Treated Seriously, Did somebody say SWIFT WIND!, Gen, Glimmer is 200 percent done, Humor, Mermista can't take Sea Hawk anywhere, Post-Canon, Post-War, Scorfuma (background), Scorpia is Amazing, Sea Hawk awakens Catra's inner pyromaniac, Semi-Chronological, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, Super Pal Trio (She-Ra), Tea Parties and Other Bad Ideas, additional tags as we go along, mild glitradora because that's what happens with two useless lesbians and a disaster bi, post-redemption, the super pal trio share one brain cell and Glimmer has it 75 percent of the time, tumblr prompt fic, what is a woman but a miserable pile of weapons wish lists
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23044849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nny11/pseuds/Nny11
Summary: Glimmer discovers that being the Queen in charge of the reformed Super Pal Trio is a f*cking trip. Follow the SPT as they continuously have to explain themselves to Glimmer.
Relationships: Catra & Entrapta & Scorpia (She-Ra), Catra & Entrapta (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra & Scorpia (She-Ra), Entrapta & Scorpia (She-Ra), Glimmer & Catra & Scorpia & Entrapta (She Ra), Super Pal Trio - Relationship
Comments: 92
Kudos: 190





	1. Fucktangular

**Author's Note:**

> For [Suricata-Passer](https://suricata-passer.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!

“Can any of you tell me what happened?” Glimmer asked as she was clearly fighting the urge to either scream or take a decade long nap.

The Super Pal Trio looked at one another, and then Entrapta took a deep breath.

“No,” Glimmer preemptively interrupted, “someone who can explain it at my level without confusing herself in the process or being distracted by the inequality of the educational system and the process by which it systematically creates artificial gaps between the classes.”

“Ha ha, okay, so it’s like this,” Scorpia said, nervously clacking her claws together, “We were doing **exactly** what you told us to do, and I mean exactly! When we realized that we could maybe kind of do that **and** also get our quota in you know? So we're getting in the thick of it and-oh man you should have been there it was amazing! Right right, back on task I gotcha, don't need to remind me I am on the case and not stalling for time at aaaaaaall! ...whoooooo boy, anyways that didn’t really work so we then were trying to back track and clean up the mess we made before anyone found out-”

Glimmer held one hand up, the other rubbed at her eyes before turning to look at the final culprit.

Catra, somehow still looking bored despite the way some of her hair was actively smoldering explained, “Things went fucktangular.”

“Well, fuck.” Glimmer groaned, giving the three of them one more look. “How did you three always manage to beat us? You’re disasters when left alone. For literally FIVE MINUTES!”

“Actually, it was only four minutes and twenty three seconds we were alone. So that means we’re improving our efficiency drastically!” Entrapta cheered, bouncing on her hair while high fiving both Catra and Scorpia.

Bow restrained Glimmer by gently grasping her elbow and whispering, “Stay strong for mother.”


	2. Pew Pew Pew!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by the word "Terrifunfying" and also Entrapta's inability to /not/ make weapons deadlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laser tag!

Glimmer took a slow deep breath in, waiting a few seconds before sipping in as much air as possible. Forcing her lungs to expand to full burning capacity, before slamming the throw pillow over her face and screaming.

“Oh come on, this is, like, the least concerning thing we’ve done in at least a few months.” Catra grumbled but to be fair, her slight exhausted smile was a dead giveaway she wasn’t bothered at all.

No, Glimmer could not see her face. She didn’t NEED to see her face to know she was grinning.

Gasping as she finally tossed the pillow away, Glimmer stared incredulously at her. Yup, there was the exhausted smile and a smug eyebrow quirk to boot. Catra was a _dead woman walking_.

“Let me get this straight,” Glimmer started with a firm tone, but knew she would be squeaky and screeching by the end. “In your attempt at rebuilding your friendships with Scorpia and Entrapta, you three fuckers are now meeting daily quotas as set by Entrapta with suggestions from either of them. Is that right?”

“Well-”

Glimmer slapped a hand over Catra’s mouth. “That is a yes or no question.”

Catra nodded, and used the motion to bite her hand before giving her a lick and releasing.

“You are disgusting and I hate you.” Glimmer hissed as she wiped her hand clean.

“You love me.”

“I tolerate you.”

“Way to blow my poor self esteem out of the water again Sparkles.”

…Fucking had her there. “I tolerate you, ANYWAYS, as part of this daily quota Scorpia suggested laser tag. A game she’s only heard of, and one that neither you or Entrapta have played before. …nod or shake your head, anything else and I teleport you over the lake.”

Catra’s smile turned into a snort and smirk as she nodded.

Okay, well, mission one accomplished. Make Catra feel better, check. Now if only she could make HERSELF FEEL BETTER.  
  
“Fantastic. So Entrapta,” Glimmer looked at the other princess, “you decided to modify some Military Grade **weapons** to play a harmless game?”

“WEEEeeeeeeell I wouldn’t say,” Entrapta’s hair waved vaguely as she twiddled her thumbs, “harmless, it’s called laser tag for a reason and lasers (which is actually the correct way to phrase this, any device meant to emit a beam of laser energy are called lasers, gun is just such a ridiculous addition to the nomenclature and I believe scientifically unsound) are meant to injure. I just made sure that the emitter array had a slight adjustment and then had to replace the optical amplifiers because- and that’s not even getting into finding a better system to alter the stimulation of radiation to actually form-”

“Why does Entrapta get to ramble but I don’t?” Catra asked, one hand lifted as if waiting to be called on in a class. Something Glimmer was certain the magicat had never ever done in an actual class.

“You tried to destroy the universe.”

“Technically,” Scorpia waved her hand much more enthusiastically, “So has Entrapta. And you! I think I’m the only one who hasn’t. But I did try to help? Am I an accomplice to universal destruction if I was really more of a support net? Do cheer squads ever get in trouble if the team loses? ‘Cause I mean, ha! We have done A LOT of losing and-”

“-which if you think about critically is absurdist in nature, because honestly what is a woman but a miserable pile of weapon wish lists-”

“No, seriously. I don’t get to say anything more?”

“-and there was that time me and Catra were on a **boat** -”

“-the spatial coherence just needed a little tweaking, and re-tweaking after I made it more powerful instead of less. Old habits die hard I’m sure you understand, anyways, the collimation was-”

Glimmer tuned them both out before looking at Catra with a twitching eye. “And you put up with this? For a year?”

“Hey,” Catra actually seemed offended at that, “first of all I was so desperate for attention and scared out of my wits that when Scorpia hugged me I thought she was trying to put me in a headlock and after that first time I almost wished she would have, so I think past me is allowed a few exceptions!”

Glimmer waited, and when no more came out prompted, “And second?”

“Look at them Glimmer, they’re idiots. Helpless without someone, okay? Well, not helpless, but you get what I mean. It would’ve been like kicking a box of puppies to the curb.”

Glimmer did, in fact, physically turn to look at them again.

“-what is wrong with the educational system that students aren’t allowed to mess with photolithography these days-”

“-and then I was like, ‘if vegetables are so healthy for you why do they taste so sad’ and Perfuma said-”

“ENOUGH!” Glimmer screamed loudly enough to be heard and with their attention properly focused back on her, finally got to continue, “No more playing laser tag outside of an official laser tag arena! They have lasers that not only aren’t **actual** weapons, but are designed just to trigger the light receivers or whatever the fuck they are called on the vests instead of creating mild sunburns. No more self made laser tag in my castle, got it!?”

There was a pause before Entrapta raised her hand.

“No.”

“But I didn’t even ask-” Glimmer must have been particularly wild eyed, as Entrapta pivoted to finish, “about…where the…regular arenas…are?”

Catra’s tail swished in her peripheral vision with a little too much enjoyment.

“Talk to Sea Hawk.” Glimmer moaned as she walked away, unable and unwilling to subject herself to anymore torment.

Only walking faster as she heard Entrapta cackle, “-it’ll be terrifunfying!”

Was it too late to decline the throne to Brightmoon? Maybe her dad would want to rule for a bit? Or Bow. Oh, Bow would be amazing at this! She teleported to the kitchen for the ice cream she so rightfully deserves before going to Bow’s room to abdicate.

Bow took one look at the containers in her hands before asking, “Are they still alive?”

“Barely.”

All in all it’s a typical Monday afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bow refuses the throne out of principle, but he does take a pint of ice cream as payment for becoming Glimmer's therapist friend.


	3. ADVENTURES IN FIRE (safety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sea Hawk brings kerfuffle to the floor and sets things on fire. Glimmer is more annoyed she wasn't invited tbh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not good at writing songs, enter at your own risk.

The firefighter gave a final nod as they wrapped out their quick report, only pausing to bow after Glimmer signed off. She gave herself three seconds to watch the blaze, now safely contained but improbably still burning hot on the water.

“Can I just say,” Scorpia nervously started, “that you are just, uh, looking very queenly today? And did you do something with your hair? It looks, mwah, fantastic!”

Glimmer did not slap her hands over her face, or scream, or generally make a fuss. She was in public after all, and in public she needed to be Queen Glimmer. Powerful. Wise. Unflappable. She turned around, standing as tall as possible with her hands linked over her stomach. “Thank you Scorpia, and no, I did the regular brush and hairspray. Now who wants to tell me what happened?”

The Super Pal Trio looked at one another, despite knowing that Catra was often the best suited for it. Both because she could focus on actually giving facts, and because she was closer friends with Glimmer. Which, really, was just another kick to the knee for the whole situation. Catra rolled her eyes and took a breath, but not quickly enough.

Given a half second of dead air time, Sea Hawk spoke up first.

“Tis a long and valiant tale, your majesty! Involving ADVENTURE and PIRATES and perhaps a minor kerfuffle while playing chubby bunny, but all in the name of pursuing a just cause!” He held one leg up in the air, as if standing on something and waited.   
  
“Oh! Sorry, that’s me!” Scorpia quickly ran and grabbed a boulder to prop under his foot for dramatic effect. 

“No.” Catra and Glimmer both commanded at the same time, glancing at each other in slight embarrassment. It was a little like finding out they were wearing the same sweater at an ugly sweater party. Yet neither wanted to back down from their shared stance.

“HA ha! Not to worry ladies, I promise this one will be,” Sea Hawk quickly flattened his mustache dramatically before whipping out a concertina from apparently nowhere, “Painless. _OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH_!”

Catra grabbed Entrapta’s elbow as she tried to sneak away. “If I have to listen so do you.”

“Aw beans,” Entrapta grumbled.

_ When you wake in the night _

_ And you’re hollow inside _

_ It means that one must eeeeaaaaat _

Glimmer rubbed at her temples, before glaring at the two of them. Scorpia was too busy clacking her claws together along with the beat (okay she was off beat but no one cared) and Bow was playing literal second fiddle. So her options were limited. “No, seriously, what happened? What is that? Why is it  **burning in the middle of the palace garden pond** ?”

_ So you go walk around _

_ Looking all over town _

_ For a tasty friend to meet! _

“You ever had a s’more before?” Catra asked only for Entrapta to piggy back instantly with a surprisingly coherent explanation.

“Technically speaking we were following your orders to try playing laser tag again, and you said talk to Sea Hawk, so we did! And on the way to the children’s gaming center we discovered that Catra and Scorpia have never had s’mores. That’s probably a war crime of some kind-”

Catra’s mane and fur bristled up as she squawked, “-ExCUSe yOu!? I will not have my legitimate efforts be lumped with-”

“-which is weird when you think about it, really. I wonder if there is any adjudication regarding it? Would it be adjudication? This isn’t exactly my specialty. You know in Dryl we never-”

Glimmer moaned into her hands, “I regret asking.”

_ But when you’re craving cocoa _

_ You start to feel loco _

_ And one’s fate you cannot cheat! _

_ So go forth to victory, HEY! _

_ OH s’mores, s’mores _

_ More s’mores more! _

_ A sweet delectable treat! _

_ All you need is three  _

_ Ingredients _

_ And then you add HEAT! _

“This is the worst song I’ve ever heard,” Glimmer sighed, before holding up a hand to stop Catra and Entrapta’s one sided argument and unintelligible explanation.

_ And what is heat but  _ **_fire_ ** _? _

“OKAY EVERYONE STOP! STOP RIGHT NOW!” Glimmer shouted, waving her hands, no longer caring for her public appearance. “Are you telling me, you lit a...a-”

“Boat,” Catra supplied while doing a poor job of hiding her smirk.   
  
Of course it was, what else did she think it was. “Of course it was! A BOAT on FIRE in order to make s’mores!? And you didn’t even invite me to have s’mores!??!?!?!?”

Everyone looked at Catra who chuckled weakly and waved towards Sea Hawk, who in turn laughed very nervously. “...maybe?”

Even Bow looked affronted, “Do we need to talk about fire safety again?”

Sea Hawk deflated, twiddling his thumbs before mumbling, “I just wanted to look cool, so I offered-”   


Catra grumbled, “You failed step one.” and was immediately elbowed in the ribs by a glaring Glimmer.

“Hey Buddy, we’ve talked about this. We have designated fire rings all around just for you. Remember? As long-”

“As it fits I can light it on fire. I completely forgot! Thank you Bow! CREW!.......to the fire pit!” Sea Hawk pointed the way by flexing in its direction. “And can you bring that rock? It’s very dramatic and just the right height.”

Scorpia laughed, “Of course I do love being involved!”

Glimmer felt the fight drain out of her as she watched them tromp away towards a designated fit pit. She looked mournfully back at the burning hull in her pond and felt a massive headache blooming as she considered how much time it would take to get the burnt remains out once the fire died. Bow gently knocked into her side.

“Sooooooo,” He started with a grin.

“Yes! I want s’mores, please, I deserve them and it’s my castle so it’s my rules!”

Bow cheered loudly as she teleported them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glimmer has earned whatever she wants for forever considering she deals with these idiots weekly.


	4. Roll With It 2: Electric Boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter's Bane finds a group of new and untested adventurers, and after a long night of intense brooding decides to take them on as apprentices. Our rag tag team of heroes venture forth into the Spider's Lair, where surely nothing will go wro- Adora stop moving the training dummies we're using those. Also you might want to take a few steps back once the fire spells start getting flung around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was brought to you by my boss who when prompted for favorite words looked me dead in the eye and said: "Okie-doke. No I don't know how to spell it, but it's a New York thing and [Husband] thinks I made it up cuz I'm from Taos." 
> 
> I think she wants to spread her vernacular lol! (yes I asked my boss, she's cool okay, don't judge me)
> 
> (Yes she knows it's for a fanfic and is fucking thrilled)
> 
> ALSO: I can't remember who requested Frosta, please remind me and I'll link ya!

“My liege,” Winter’s Bane stepped forward heavily, the weight of her actions like a cloak of chains pulling her down till she was kneeling. A lodestone around her neck. “t'was my fault, your trusted Grand Knight, Winter’s Bane, for bringing such new adventurers along with us. I accept my fate!”

“Uhm, what? New adventurers!? I did not write six pages of backstory to get hand waved!” C’yra of Purrsia griped in the background, even if her spell compendium was heavily damaged and pages were falling out with alarming frequency.

“‘It makes logical sense though,” Entrapta, the cyborg princess, pointed out. “I mean, it’s silly to have a bunch of accomplishments and then be level one right? Although if we had gone with my plan to have a simple 5 grinding sessions were we combined our powers to-”

“I totally wanted that by the by!” Erfumpa Beautiful Flower said, one hand waving. “Because then we’d have gotten to use our cool catch phrase, The Power is Yours!”

“That’s a stupid catch phrase!” C’yra hissed.

Erfumpa gasped, “You take that back! Winter’s Bane helped me come up with it, and it’s super cool! Don’t be mean, besides we all know you like it.”

Winter’s Bane felt a twitch in her eye, and lowered her head further before cracking under the need to be say something, “C’yra hates everything.”

“I do not!” C’yra waved at her nearly empty spell book. “I like fire magic!”

“Are you four done?” Glimmer pleaded.

Catra glared, hugging her ratty binder close to her chest. Judging by the pages Glimmer could see, she hadn’t hole punched them, just jammed them onto the prongs. Whether that was her choice or because she didn’t know hole punchers exist was a whole other matter. The pages Glimmer could see had a lot of orange and red ink saying things like “fireball” and “flame blade”.

Scorpia clutched at the small bouquet of flowers in her claws, careful not to snip them in two, causing more soil to get knocked out of their roots. She was wearing a flower as a hat, which Glimmer could only assume meant Perfuma had made it just for her. She had apparently opted to simply cover her regular clothes with a bunch of green bows as a costume but that was better than her friends.

Entrapta was basically just herself. Scratch that, she  **was** just herself but with any of the many upgrades safely integrated into her character instead of medically untested and definitely not IRB approved in herself. Hanging from her tool belt, her tracker pad was showing which upgrades went where so she wouldn’t forget. She wore one plastic silver bracelet, that Glimmer was pretty sure she’d won in a machine and given to Frosta, to complete her look.

Frosta herself was wearing a modified version of her ice armor, leaving her chest and back exposed to not get too cold. She had one eye squinted dramatically, a fake scar drawn over it in a blue washable marker that had bled a little bit making it look off.

Behind them was the training yard, with all the dummies handily smashed and a few small smoldering spots still visible. Along the walls a disturbingly large amount of robots were crawling, like a tapestry of spiders. Gross.

“Winter’s Bane is never done! ...Although, are we not in character anymore? I, uh, this is embarrassing, I can’t tell. Wait. Are we in actual trouble? Like, Trouble trouble?” Frosta grinned bashfully. The young teen was still as socially awkward as ever and rarely knew when the line was drawn, but at least her acting had improved over the years.

“Which way will get you all to listen to me?” Glimmer half growled. The ‘brave adventurers’ looked at one another, and she no longer cared. “You know what? No. No more doing this without prior approval so we can make sure everyone else is out safely from the training grounds. You gave Adora a heart attack with all your screaming and fire spells. Which, now that I’m on it, Catra, how did you do that?”

Catra reached into her loose vest and proudly showed off a small sphere, about the size of a large marble. “Sea Hawk taught me how to-”

Glimmer didn’t need to hear anything else. “I will kill him if Mermista doesn’t first. Also, I need you to show me so I can ensure to never accidentally make one.”

Catra’s grin turned absolutely bone chillingly evil. “I knew I liked you Queenie.”

“Oh!” Scorpia pointed to the bow’s on her arms and Glimmer realized that some were missing. “D’ya wanna see how I do plant magic? Perfuma made them for me, she calls them seed packets and-”

Glimmer tuned out to look around again, but there were no man eating plants to be seen.  _ Thank the moons! _ Only patches of lush tall grass and sunflowers. Honestly those two were so disgustingly sweet she was gonna die. But at least they would be easy enough to replant to the gardens.

“And Entrapta brought the old Horde bots?” Glimmer asked, not caring that she was being rude by cutting Scorpia off. Or, well, attempting to cut Scorpia off. She was apparently rambling more to herself at this point anyways. (“And I was like, ‘Whoa!’ and she was all cute and giggling and said, ‘I know, it’s plant magic!’ and I almost  _ died _ she’s  **so cute** -”)

“Eeehhhhh,” Entrapta wiggled her hand, “they came to see what the fuss was and wanted to play. Also I wanted to test my new fireproofing spray so it was a win-win!”

For one moment she considered the implications that a swarm of spider-like ex-Horde robots was living somewhere in her castle with enough sentientes to wonder what was happening. Where did they live? The Whispering Woods?  _ The pipes? _ Glimmer’s skin crawled, and her brain helpfully self shut down to preserve her sanity.

All she had to do now was figure out the best course of action. On one hand, she should be the Queen and ensure the safety of her staff, castle, and guards. On the other hand, she hadn’t been allowed to bash bots, dummies, and more in FOREVER. But was joining them giving them too much leeway? How desperate was she? How badly did she want to banish Catra to cleaning duty again versus how badly did she want to punch things? It was an impossible decision.

“I’m here!” Adora shouted as she skidded around the corner, fully transformed into She-Ra and gasping for air. “I am SO ready to smash some stuff-oh hey Glimmer! Are you playing too?”

Glimmer face palmed. Apparently Adora’s breathless, wild eyed exclamation of, “They’re  _ fighting _ in the training grounds, with bots and all!” had not been a warning or because she was worried. No. It had been because she had limited time to run to her room and back to join them before missing all the fun.

“You know what?” Glimmer said, making the choice as she spoke. “I am. I am the Evil Twin of Queen Glimmer, and I sparkle!”

Throwing fist fulls of magic at five unsuspecting idiots was just as satisfying as she remembered. 

The battle, while small and with all of them vaguely holding back, was amazing. An absolute free for all as they each fought to be the last woman standing.

“That’s my tail!” C’yra hissed, holding it with both hands after getting tagged by a sparkle bomb.

“You tried to fucking okie-doke me asshole!” Glimmer hissed right back, after a quick glance ensured Frosta was out of hearing range, pointing at the half destroyed blue cape still hanging from her shoulder. The one Catra had set on fire and thought Glimmer would be distracted allowing her to win. Like there was any winning at larping!

“Oh bite me!”

Adora sent a mostly harmless wave of light over both of them, knocking them on their asses, and Bow shouted, “Glimmer and Catra you are out!” She wasn’t even sure when he’d arrived but apparently there were referees for larping? Were they still role playing at all? Maybe there was winning…   
  
“Hey, do you think I could set one of these off and make Bow dance?” Catra asked, holding up one of her remaining fire bombs. Her face set in stone at having been called out of the fight.

Glimmer paused, only long enough to grin manically at the idea. She plucked the miniature grenade out of Catra’s hand, pulling back to throw it before telling Catra firmly, “If anyone asks, Entrapta asked us to try it in the name of science. Also I’m the Queen and said it’s okay. Sorry about this Bow, but not too sorry, just sorry enough.”

She’d earned this!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Scorpia was RPing her awesome girlfriend. Yes, she also thought she'd been real subtle and slick about it. #bless


	5. They Tried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra: Hey, can you send me $300? It's for an escape room.
> 
> Glimmer: What escape room costs $300??????
> 
> Catra: Jail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter request by: [ Somariel ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somariel/pseuds/Somariel)
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by the words shenaniganry and snickerdoodle.

“It is **over** this time! No more chances!” Glimmer seethed, grip tightening. “I am SICK of them doing this shit!”

“Okay, first of all, ow, that’s my hair,” Swift Wind nickered, shiny hooves kicking in the air for emphasis. “And second of all, regarding the multiple murder, that’s fair.”

“Thank you!” Glimmer made sure to loosen her grip, giving him a quick hug around the neck in apology. 

The two continued to fly over the Whispering Woods, away from Thaymore where Glimmer  _ had _ been to keep good will alive or something. But when Swifty had arrived bearing a soot stained note from Catra reading simply:  _ i need 300g for an escape room _ , well, Glimmer knew that couldn’t bode well at all. 

And sure enough, as Swift Wind began his descent, Glimmer could see smoke and fire rising out of a large building of some kind. As they got closer, she realized it said “Etherian Gaming Center”. Just in front of the doors sat the super pal trio and Sea Hawk, being guarded by a few palace guards of all things.

Glimmer teleported the rest of the way and without preamble shouted, “You said for an escape room!”

Catra nodded, pointing with her shackled hands, “Yeah. And jail is, like, the  **ultimate** escape room. Except I’m paying to be let out. Duh!”

Swift Wind grabbed a mouthful of Glimmer’s shirt to prevent a fifth person from being arrested.

The guards nervously looked at one another before gamely facing forward in an attempt to look stoic.

Sea Hawk cleared his throat, “Fair and talented Glimmer! Who, may I say, is looking radiant as usual-” A weak sparkle ball to the face cut him off. Sea Hawk nodded sagely. “Honestly? That’s fair.”

“Hey, that’s what I said about killing you guys!” Swift Wind cheered, oblivious to the way the guards were inching closer together, uncertain about what they should be doing with the crown right there.

“That does make sound logical sense,” Entrapta supplied, only pausing to sheepishly put her cuffs back on for the sake of propriety when Glimmer glared at her. “At this rate we’ve probably cost Brightmoon  **a lot** of money, but I can refurnish that to you with a reasonable interest rate! Therefore, maybe consider...Not killing us?”

She smiled bright as the day moon, her hair approximated finger guns as she snapped her actual fingers. Although Glimmer noticed that one hand was already free from the cuffs and simply couldn’t bring herself to care.

“... I don’t even know what happened to make that decision yet!” Glimmer growled, checking the back of her shirt for horse drool. When no one answered she snapped, “WELL!?”

“Okay, we were totally doing what you told us to do, like  **exactly** , exactly!” Scorpia nervously started to explain, “ I promise there were no plans for shenaniganry! Remember, you said ‘go to Sea Hawk to find out where you can play laser tag’ and we did that! Which was great, we got to ride on his boat for a little, it was amazing! Oh man, there is just something about a life or death situation where you’re nothing more than a little speck with no say in your ultimate fate that’s just so grounding but also exhilarating. The ocean and tides don’t care who you are, they will destroy you. ….oh right! So, after that we all signed up to play laser tag and - OH! Did you know there’s a safety briefing for this? I took some notes if you want them. It’s nothing nearly as crazy as the old Horde drills ya know, but safety third as I always say!”

“Safety first,” Glimmer was almost begging, her whole body slumped in pain, “the saying is safety first.”

Swift Wind stomped a hoof to get her attention, “No, hang on, I think she’s on to something with this. Safety third. SAFETY THIIIIIIIIIIRD! I think it has a good ring to it-”

“-which was about the time we made a bet on who could take out the most bots, and let me tell you I was not prepared for the competitiveness-”

“-it just needs a little something to really kick it to the next level, ya know? Saaafety Third! I’m thinking we can-”

“-and I was like, ‘pew pew pew!’ but then Catra just swooped in! Oh man, you should have seen how she dealt with those bots!”

Glimmer could feel a twitch developing  _ inside _ her eyeball. She ignored them in favor of glaring at Catra. “What. Did. You. DO!?”

“Why do people always assume I did something!?” Catra shouted right back.   
  
“BECAUSE SOMEONE JUST SAID IT WAS YOU!”

“-then if anyone asks I can tell them that it’s fine, because I’m a trained professional and safety third-”

“WELL MAYBE IT WASN’T ME!”

“-and that’s when the backup generator exploded! You’d think they’d have designed these things to handle some serious abuse, I mean, how much could we have really overloaded it?”

“According to my calculations-”

“SCORPIA SAID IT WAS YOU!”

“-which makes us 93.25% more accurate and effective than the regular noobs in the arena-”

“ScORpIa SaID iT was YOU!”

“-which is just so, you know, power of friendship of us-”

Glimmer took a deep breath, trying to calm down right when Sea Hawk raised his own tied hands to say, “Uhm, you’re not going to tell Mermista about this are you? Crew code?”

This time it was actually Catra who stopped Glimmer from killing someone, which was strange enough to make everyone finally shut up.

Catra, who used her tied hands to ‘hold’ Glimmer back, froze up and whined, “Oh this brings back too many memories. I don’t like it.”

Glimmer could remember the way Catra had done this before as they were swept towards that waterfall and shuddered. She tapped Catra’s arm and was freed after a moment.

“Okay. Alright. This is fine. I can figure this out!” Glimmer muttered to herself, looking at the still smoldering building before getting a horrible idea. “........Entrapta, if I give you access to create a NON-LETHAL and HARMLESS laser tag arena by the Whispering Woods can you make it able to withstand-” she waved a hand vaguely towards the building, “alllllll of that?”

Entrapta’s eyes went wide and very shiny as she threw her hands out, “Are you kidding!? I could make something amaaaaazing with the right resources! OH, I can add a tiny foods snack bar!!” 

Scorpia asked hopefully, “Can the chef robot make snickerdoodle ice cream? Because, I mean, c’mon! I’m basically addicted thanks to you!”

Entrapta, however, ignored her. Whether it was an accident or not wasn’t clear. “It could be like those old clunky training halls-”

“They weren’t clunky!” Catra grumbled, and earned a pat on the shoulder from Scorpia for the effort.

“-but fine tuned for all of our heightened abilities and skills!” Entrapta finished and on seeing Glimmer’s exhausted eye twitch slipped her cuffs back on.

“You know what? Fuck it. Sure. I’ll parcel it off. I don’t care. Come on Swift Wind we’re done.” Glimmer was more than ready to sleep for a week.

“Uhm, oh shoot!” Scorpia said, having raised her claws and accidentally tore her metal handcuffs into so much scrap. “Sorry, I can fix that! Probably! Uh, but what about us?”

Glimmer hopped on Swift Wind’s back, glaring at all of them before looking directly at Sea Hawks’ wilted face and mustache. “Put it on Mermista’s account.”

And with that she took off leaving them to find a way home on their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, they'll be so obnoxious that the guards will let them all go pretty fast!
> 
> Fan art by Suricata-Passer:  
> 


	6. She Just Needs A Hug Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimmer recounts her harrowing trail to Bow and Adora, and receives less sympathy than she'd wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you be the phrase: Ass Daiquiri
> 
> Also, TheBraveThing, this was supposed to be your prompt and then fell completely apart, so I promise yours is next!

Adora and Bow looked at each other nervously. Bow was able to sit still, arms rigid and locked as he pressed his palms into his knees for grounding, and while he couldn’t make his face relax he could feel good about not looking like Adora. Who was tapping her fingers on her arms and booted toes on the floor. Her shoulders tilted in opposite directions to a beat only she could hear as she softly hummed a nervous tuneless set of notes. God they were not made for this shit but they were gonna show up. Because the Best Friend Squad is Ride or Die.

Glimmer stretched sideways over her lounging couch and swirled her wine glass filled with chocolate milk before sighing, “I’m just...so over it you know?”

They knew.

Adora tried to smile brightly, but it was more of an intense sweaty grimace, “Oh yeah! Totally! We know, you know? Of course you know! That we know!? That you know, that we know you’re over it-and who can blame you!?!?”

Glimmer huffed another dramatic sigh, taking a long pull from her drink and ending up with a chocolate milk mustache for her troubles.

Bow rested a hand on Adora’s shoulder (who slumped in relief as she was given some instructions which in this case were to stop talking), before speaking, “Well, maybe it would help if you started from the beginning? Walk us through what happened.”

The queen of Brightmoon moaned, rolling to be face down on the couch before mumbling something. Bow and Adora looked at one another again, desperate for a direction to take, but Glimmer growled and sat upright. “Fine, so here’s what happened.”

_Glimmer stared down the Super Pal Trio as they sat around a comically small banquet table surrounded by equally small tea cups and pots. She couldn’t see anything smoldering or actively on fire, but the smell did still linger. It had to be them!_

“What had to be them?” Adora asked, brow quirked and head tilted.

“The guards reported a fire to me, and considering they should have **put it out themselves** I could only assume it was those three again. And I was right. Anyways-”

_“Okay-“ Glimmer barely started._

_Catra interrupted, pitching her voice obnoxiously in an awful approximation of Glimmer’s, “NoW whoooooo WANTS tO tell mE wHaT_ **_happened_ ** _! WE GET IT!”_

_“Sweet,” Glimmer smiled, “nice to not have to do the whole spiel again. So….fess up bitches.”_

_“UGH!” Cars groaned, tail flicking in annoyance. A sure indicator that whatever happened was probably her fault. Something everyone was still helping her realize was okay. But also something that Glimmer_ **_would fucking murder her over_ ** _._

_“SPT BBP Log, entry 84: It would seem that Queen Glimmer has developed a higher tolerance for-”_

_“I have not!” Glimmer protested, and after a very long pause she sighed, “Well I didn’t mean or want to!”_

_“You don’t even know what she was going to say. Maybe it was going to be flat-”_

_“Confirmation that Queen Glimmer can deal with more ‘bullshit’ as the parlance goes or has become less intelligent after prolonged exposure to-”_

_Glimmer glared at Catra with a twitching eye._

_Catra shrugged. “Well I’m not a mind reader.”_

Adora snorted, face screwing up as she desperately tried to not laugh. Bow gave her an incredulous look and they were both so fucking lucky that Glimmer hadn’t noticed.

“Sorry,” she whisper wheezed, “I can hear her in my head and it was just really, really funny.”

“Supportive Adora!” He whisper squawked back.

“I know! I am! Whoo, okay, deep breath! _Hmmm-haaaaa_. I’m good, I’m ready!”

Glimmer, too wrapped up in her own story didn’t notice them not paying attention, lucky they didn’t miss anything important.

_“Scorpia,” Glimmer noted that she had, in fact, gotten better at ignoring background conversations and rambling, maybe this would pay off in some of her logistical meetings, “What happened?”_

_Scorpia laughed nervously, a large bead of sweat rolling down the side of her face. “Okay, so it started like this. Catra was being open about her childhood for once-”_

Bow preemptively kicked Adora’s leg to stop her from pouting that Catra hadn’t opened up to her.

_“-and it was just so sad, and Entrapta said ‘you were a ragamuffin’ and I said, ‘aren’t they called ragdolls?’. But I mean, really, Catra doesn’t have nearly long enough fur to be part ragdoll, also she’s not very snuggly friendly-”_

_Catra looked like she was wishing for death to take her, not uncommon really, but this time she also looked like she’d begrudgingly accept living so that was a step in the right direction._

_“-wait did we? Hang on let me rewind and check…” “-which we did NOT do despite being so close to fully realizing-” “Nope! SO there’s still a 32% chance that we-”_

_“-based just on the striping I’m guessing she’s more like a tabby of some kind-OH WHAT IF SHE’S A LIGER!?”_

_“You know what,” Catra said with a deep sigh, “I’m gonna save us both some misery here. It_ **_was_ ** _me, I forgot about the fire bombs I still had in that vest. Did I start the fire? Yes. Did I also put it out right away? Also yes! See, it’s fine, can we go now?”_

“Which is just OUTRAGEOUS! Like, that was not a contained blaze! What a **liar**!? I put it out right away my foot! UGH! ...wait, shit, I just realized if they put it out with the little teacups it might have taken a while. They were, like, just bigger than a thimble. Hmmm…well the rose bushes won’t be the same regardless. Anyways so me and Catra started this whole nonverbal thing-”

_An eyebrow lifted for disbelief. A dismissive flick of a tail. Glimmer used both hands, pushing forward before spreading them out to encompass all the bullshit. Catra rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips because really? Really? Glimmer’s mouth bunched to one side as she struggled to not scream since it’s true this was not about all the bad things they’d ever done. Catra motioned to her now ruined vest, something she’d become overly fond of wearing by itself no matter how many times Glimmer begged her to wear something under it._

_Look, there are too many women loving women in Brightmoon for her to allow someone as naturally hot as Catra to walk around wearing nothing but a vest and tastefully torn pants. Especially if she was going to insist on not wearing a bra._

_Oh by the moons, this was getting out of hand!_

_So Glimmer took a deep breath, lifted one hand to get everyone’s attention before pointing at the true culprit of the hour, and said, “Catra, your ass-daiquiri bullshit aside-”_

_Only to have her grand speech instant interrupted._

_“I didn’t know you could make an ass flavored daiquiri. Who orders that? Are they okay?” Scorpia asked planting the seeds of an awful vision in Glimmer’s mind._

_Entrapta raised a hand, “Question, when you say ass flavored do you mean the buttock or the anus because I think-”_

Bow turned a little green and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Gross.”

“Right!?” Glimmer wailed, and then immediately took another swing of her chocolate milk. A big swing. Damn.

 _“Do you see what you’ve done?” Catra asked, dead eyed and looking like she’d aged thirty years. “Do you understand how many more times I am going to be stuck hearing about this shit? I’m sorry, no matter what happened earlier_ **_you_ ** _are now the one in trouble.”_

_“...fucking fair I guess.” Glimmer sighed wishing she could scrub this all from her memory._

_“No, no, no! No blowing this off! Listen to this shit!” Catra pointed emphatically at her friends._

_And like a woman going to her own execution, she accepted her punishment._

_“-because I really can’t picture who would enjoy it, I mean, don’t get me wrong a rump roast that’s been cooked just right is-”_

_“I suppose the intergluteal cleft could technically count as it’s own part, but I’m assuming a flavor profile-”_

_“-with a little butter and perfect! Oh MAN I am really hungry now!”_

_“-note to self: chemical reaction between-”_

_“OH NO, is this a cannibalism thing!? Is this how you become a cannibal because-”_

_“I suppose I do understand why educators wouldn’t want certain volatile compounds left in the hands of their students, but I am a professional so it was kind of rude-”_

_“-and then what if I start craving it? Perfuma is going to hate me, and then I’m going to die alone. Oh I’m doomed. DOOMED!”_

_Glimmer gave Catra a hangdog look, desperate for a reprieve. She couldn’t do this, this was awful! Yes, she’d made a mistake but it was an honest mistake!_

_Catra, being the_ **_monster_ ** _she is, didn’t budge. Only folded her arms and glared back, her tail twitching a mile a minute behind her in agitation. It was a long, looooooooong afternoon after that._

“And that’s what happened and I’m too beautiful for this! I’m a good person!” When her friends both made so-so motions with their hands and shrugged, Glimmer rolled her eyes and tried again, “I’m often a good person and also the queen so what I say should go- not to totally abuse my powers here but you know- and also I’ve never done anything wrong in my li-high-hi ffffff!”

Bow rolled his eyes at her dramatic fake sobbing, hands pressed together in front of his face as he took a deep breath.

Glimmer gave a particularly pathetic whimper, “I want to die.”

Bow exhaled in a large whoosh of air, before pointing with both his hands at her. “Harsh but understandable. Although perhaps you should be forced to live and deal with the consequences.”

Glimmer kicked her feet weakly and whined, “Can I at least get a hug please?”

Bow gave a fake smile, and Adora lost it laughing before he even opened his mouth. “Oh, sorry! Wish I could!”

“Is this because I used fire bombs on you? Still? That was like, two weeks ago!” Glimmer knew she was pushing her luck here, but she was just too tired to try hard at anything ever again.

Bow snorted. “You are very lucky that I love you.” 

Glimmer still had to get up and throw her whole body sideways at them, trapping them and refusing to get up until she got a hug. And then another. And eventually Adora just picked her up with one arm and stood up to get back to work. A little more whining convinced her to pick Bow up in her other arm and carry them both back down towards the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adora is strong like ox, and I love her so much. 
> 
> Just a reminder, send me your prompts and favorite words/phrases to help me get more crack written! :D
> 
> Deleted Scene:
> 
> Glimmer, "And I've done nothing wrong in my life ever!"
> 
> Adora, "We know this, and love you."
> 
> Bow, can't talk because he's both wheezing and laughing.


	7. What We Have is You (Ew)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Princess Alliance spends a night out at a karaoke bar to relax and unwind, too bad stupid Catra had to sing her stupid song so stupidly sexy and now they can't go back for at least a month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by AJ fucking destroying every wlw and many, many queer men with Warriors. Fuckin' rude.
> 
> Prompt was mutilated beyond recognition for [ TheBraveThing ](thebravething.tumblr.com), but Glimmer did incite violence!

“And up next we haaaaaave Perfuma!” Netossa dramatically announced, eyebrows waggling as she waited.  Perfuma, three drinks in, shook her head and slid down in her seat. “I didn’t- I didn’t sign up!”

“Oh I know.” Netossa snickered. “You were voluntold girl, get up here!”

“Fucking- do we really want to hear Flower Power drunk singing?” Catra groused, feet kicked up on the table  _ again _ .

Glimmer shoved them back to the floor... _ again _ . “Don’t be, wait, okay be  _ less _ mean.”

Catra whined, slumping face first onto the sticky table’s surface. “I’ll die!”

“Then perish,” Glimmer hissed, “and do it quietly! Look at Scorpia, do you want to upset her?”

There was a long pause where Catra grumbled several unintelligible things to herself before looking up at Scorpia’s grinning face.  “Yeah! Woo! Go Perfuma! Oh she is just so talented!!”

“Ugggghhhh, nooooooo?” Catra groaned, slapping her hands over her ears in preparation.

Perfuma held the mic in a slightly wobbling grip but her voice was steady and sure as she sang directly to her girlfriend. Scorpia, of course, burst into tears after the very first line.

_ You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest _

_ Like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain! _

_ Like a storm in the desert like a sleepy blue ocean, _

_ You fill up my senses, come fill me again! _

Glimmer kicked at Catra’s knee under the table as the ex-captain fake gagged. “If you hate it so much you can just leave!”

Catra’s eye twitched as she lifted her left hand, the one Entrapta had handcuffed to the table when Catra had tried to slink away an hour ago.

“...fucking fair. More alcohol?”

Catra’s eye twitch got worse as she motioned to all of herself. At Glimmer’s confused stare, Entrapta jumped in, “Catra’s physiology is unique amongst the Princess Alliance thanks to her more feline genetics. While there have, thus far, been no longer term studies it is believed that-”

Glimmer mouthed ‘sorry’ to the one literally captive audience member.

_ Let me give my life to you  _

_ Come let me love you _

_ Come love me again _

_ You fill up my senses- _

“-and renal failure is highly likely, but that’s besides the point! How do they ‘know’ that if there haven’t been any long term studies? I’m telling you the ethics boards are just afraid to expand their horizons and furthermore-”

“That’s my girl, look at her, oh wow, I am crying over here!”

Glimmer managed to tune everyone out rather well actually. She gracelessly shoved her way to sit between Entrapta and Catra and offered, “Maybe I can get some tissue paper? You can make ear plugs? I want you to suffer, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not trying to torture you.”

“You know what?” Catra started, face completely sour and scrunched, “Why don’t you take your obnoxiously sugary friends and-”

“Catra! You’re up!” Netossa announced amongst the remaining scattered applause.

Glimmer held her hands up quickly to prove she hadn’t done anything, despite having helped the super pal duo set this all up, and Entrapta, not having paid attention but recognizing a sign that her furry friend was near meltdown, did the same.

“No.”

“Aw,” Scorpia whined, instantly outing her part in the scheme, “but Catra you’ve got such a pretty singing voice!”

“Wait, wait, you’ve HEARD CATRA SING????” Glimmer rocked forward in her seat. 

“Scorpia…”

“Oh yeah! Sometimes late at night I’d listen to her singing in the locker room-”

“I swear by Hordak’s tits I will fucking kill you-”

“-and she can just really bring that depth of emotion to a song, even if the songs are all-”

“Scorpia!”

“-clearly, and I mean don’t get me wrong I get it, but like break up songs-”

“HEY!” Catra’s scream got everyone’s attention as she lifted her shackled hand. “Who wants to exact revenge on a willing and helpless victim? I need someone to shoot me right now.”

“Nice!” Glimmer lit up a fist only to have Adora grab her from behind. “I was kidding! Mostly!”

Netossa sighed into the mic before walking over to their table. “Sorry kid, you still gotta live with your shit. Now pick a song, here’s the mic, let’s do this.”

“You’re not my mom!”

“Don’t threaten me with a good familial time pal, you know Spinnerella has adoption papers  _ lined up _ and  _ ready to go _ , try me bitch.”   
  
Catra spent a half second glaring her down before grabbing the behemoth binder out of her hands to find a song.

Glimmer, still being restrained by Adora and with her body just slightly lifted out of her chair jeered, “Ooooooo, someone’s in trouble!”

Sea Hawk laughed far too loudly, his mustache a frizzy mess as he swayed in his seat. Mermista, still nursing her first fish bowl drink groaned and slid down almost under the table to avoid any looks shot their way.

Catra jabbed her finger at a song and Netossa grinned. “You got it.”

Adora finally lowered Glimmer back into her seat, but didn’t really let go so much as flop on her before asking, “What’re you singing?”

“Why don’t you shut up and find out?” Catra grumbled.

“Hey, don’t be mean, I can lean on you too!” Adora half offered, half threatened.

Before she could do anything the countdown started and the sound of a very dramatic piano kicked in. Catra started singing almost instantly, voice smooth as silk and slightly breathy immediately demanded attention.

_ We’re warriors, unstoppable, oooooooh _

“Oh shit,” Glimmer wheezed.   
  
_ We feel the evil comin’ _

_ And shadows all around _

_ Danger surrounds us _

_ But won’t bring us down _

“Oh fuck,” Glimmer whispered with a lot of feeling.

Catra winked at her, and Glimmer was pretty sure she died.

_ We’re on the edge of greatness _

_ Turning darkness to light _

_ We’re right beside you _

_ Ready to fight _

“I’m too gay for this,” Glimmer concluded right as Adora helpfully added, “Uhhhhhh.”

Catra threw her head back dramatically gripping the mic with two hands, oh what the fuck, what the actual fuck, this was unfair! This was, this was just cruel and unusual! Glimmer was trapped with a very buff warrior still clinging to her and a very lithe warrior who was, apparently, allowed to sing that good. 

“I played myself,” Glimmer said softly. Signing Catra up to sing had been the worst choice she’d made in weeks.

_ We must be stroooooong _

_ We must be braaaave _

_ We gotta find every bit of strength that we have _

_ And never let it go! _

“You sabotaged us,” Adora groaned, burying her face in Glimmer’s hair, “why would you do this, I thought we were friends?”

“I’m...I’m so sorry,” Glimmer mumbled as the drums kicked in.

_ We must be strong (strong) _

_ We must be brave (brave) _

_ We gotta find every bit of strength that we have _

_ And never let it gooooooooooo! _

“Is that...is that legal?” Bow asked, eyes squinted as he stared unblinking. “Is that allowed? Is she allowed to do that?”

Entrapta accidentally bumped him with her secondary recorder. “Subjects appear, what I’ve been informed the cool kids call, shooketh.” 

_ We’re bound to this struggle _

_ With mighty sword and flame _

_ We’ll never fail you _

_ When you call our name _

Glimmer, Adora, and Bow all slowly turned to look at Entrapta. “...subjects appear very interested in me?”

“You set me up,” Glimmer gasped, “I can’t believe you’d play me like this!”

There was a pause before Entrapta smiled brightly, “You can just consider it payback! Ahaha!”

“What the fuck? What the fuuuuuuck?”   
  
_ Together we’ll be heroes _

_ Joining forces as one _

Adora squawked as Catra winked at  **her** this time.

_ Strong as the steel we carry _

_ We rise like the sun! _

“Yup,” Scorpia mused with a nostalgic air, still happily nuzzled into Perfuma’s side, “just as good as I remember.”

“Cheers!” Perfuma added, clicking her empty water glass on Scorpia’s shoulder chitin.

_ We must be strong (strong) _

_ We must be brave (brave) _

_ We gotta find every bit of strength that we have _

_ And never let it gooooooooooo! _

_ We must be strong! _

The guitars were dreamy and Catra was eating up the now very positive attention. Only frowning as she tried to put her hand out dramatically and the shackle clanged around a bit.

_ ‘Cause we’re warriors _

_ We’re unstoppable _

_ Nothing’s gonna get in our way _

_ (Oooooooh, ooooooh, oooooh, oooooh) _

Catra tilted her head to make as much eye contact with Glimmer and Adora as she more spoke than sang, “ _ We’re gonna win in the eeeeend. _ ”

_ We must be strong (we must be strong) _

_ We must be brave (we must be brave) _

_ We gotta find every bit of strength that we have _

_ And never let it go! (let it gooooo!) _

_ We must be strong (we must be strong) _

_ We must be brave (we must be brave) _

_ We got our ancient sights _

_ Stand together and fight _

_ And never, let it go _

_ We must be strong… _

Where there would have been a stunned silence was instead Scorpia and Perfuma cheering while Glimmer and Adora tried to pull their jaws off the floor. Bow patted them both on the back and tried to console to the best of his limited abilities.

“Glimmer, you earned this. Adora...you probably also earned this. Congrats?”

“Bow!” Glimmer gasped.

“What!? It’s true!”

“Yeah, no, he’s got a point,” Adora nodded. “Hey Entrapta? Next time just shoot us okay?”

“You got it! Log 394, Subject: Adora, I have been given explicit permission and instruction to-”

“She’s being facetious!” Glimmer cried. Then elbowed Adora in the ribs when her response was to give an unconvinced, “Ehhhh.”   
  
“Addendum to log, I believe Adora has used sarcasm for the first time with me. Exciting development! ...but also, just for the record can I-”

“No.” Catra cut in. “If anyone gets to gets a mercy killing first, I claim dibs.”

“NOBODY IS KILLING ANYBODY JUST BECAUSE OF SOME SEXUAL TENSION!” Glimmer shrieked and instantly regretted every life choice that led up to this very moment, as the entire Princess Alliance stared at her in silence.

Frosta raised her hand, “What’s sexual te-”   


“Changed my mind, as the Queen I get the first mercy killing. Go for it.”

Catra kicked at her under the table, “I called dibs!”

“I have the authority!” Glimmer hissed and kicked back.

“Get in line Sparkles! Me, you, and then Adora!”

Adora raised her hand, “Okay, so I know what sex is, but sexual tension is, like, when-”

“She can get us both with one hit, be logical!” Glimmer growled with another kick.

“Fuck you, I’m not sharing!” Catra’s kick went wild, meeting with poor Bow’s shin. 

Causing him to spit his drink out, covering Entrapta who’s recorder fritzed and shocked her. Which made Catra leap up with a legitimate hiss of fear, that Glimmer heard as a cue to fight. So Glimmer lit her fist again and teleported to throw a punch very happily ignoring whatever that snarled mess of tangled emotions she’d just experienced was.

Thirty minutes later found them all outside the karaoke bar as the owner glared them all down. 

Netossa threw her hands in the air, “We didn’t even do anything!”

“Banned.” The owner insisted one more time. “One month ban.”

“But, good sir ma’am!” Sea Hawk slurred, an arm wrapped amicably around the owner’s neck. “Have you considered-”

“Begone thot!” They shouted, pushing Sea Hawk into Mermista’s arms.

“I, like, literally can’t take you anywhere.” She groaned to her very drunk boyfriend.

Glimmer slapped her hands over her face and growled. She just got herself and every royal in a several mile range banned from the one good karaoke bar. She had a pretty good feeling that she might be assassinated before their next big group outing, which only seemed fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Image lovingly made by [ Nam Nam Munch Much ](https://namnammunchmunch.tumblr.com/), and then totally jacked by me)
> 
> Also, why yes, that was a Kipo reference. And then Glimmer saw Catra sing and said, "Nah I'm good, I don't want to sing after that. Thanks."


	8. You know. Like PWAH!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimmer is woken up nightly by someone having a case of the zoomies. Some s5 spoilers contained!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brought to you by the word zoomies! 
> 
> Also I was an idiot and didn't write down who suggested this in my google doc. :| So whoever it was please tell me and I will add you on here! (And I'm sorry, and I love you!). [dragonesdepapel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonesdepapel/pseuds/dragonesdepapel) had requested Glimmer causing violence and being scolded by Bow and Adora. Last chapter was the instigating violence, this is the gets scolded one. :p
> 
> CW: for very brief description/talk about child abuse
> 
> It's not my fault Shadow Weaver was who she was alright!?

**_SKKKITZERAFRACKRACKBANGSKITZZZZ_ **

Glimmer shrieked, instinctively teleporting at the extremely loud awakening. “Whasdf!?”

Nothing in her room was even a hair out of place. Weird. She-she had just heard an unholy-

**_BAMKISSSSSSHHHKERPOWSKKITZZBANG C R A S H_ **

In the hallway Glimmer found a few pieces of armor and Catra who was laying more against the wall as the only thing on the floor was her head and neck. A helmet was stuck on her head as she clawed at it with her feet, tail lashing wildly around and poofed up to the max. Glimmer snorted. It was cute, okay!? Like, three times it’s normal size easily!!!

There was a muted growling and hiss followed by Catra blindly thrashing around and knocking into the other armor pieces.

“Stop! You’re gonna-” Glimmer tried to sound authoritative, but as soon as Catra managed to jump, then jump off the wall _mid_ previous jump, only to roll and struggle with the helmet again the jig was really up. “PPPPffffffft!!!!”

It took her a minute to stop wheeze laughing, but she finally managed to offer, “Hey, calm down I can get that-”

Catra dashed away on all fours, a loud clang sounding around the corner as she smashed into a wall before skittering into the darkness. 

She took one last look at the scratched and dented pauldron and gorget sitting innocently enough on the floor, before retreating to her room. It was ass o’clock and Catra being a massive dumbass was not her problem. It took a while, what with her having a few last giggling fits (it had been sooooo puffy!) before relaxing enough, but she did get back to sleep.

  
  


The problem was that the very next night, it happened again.

  
  


“WAUGH!” Glimmer screamed, rolling and teleporting. Landing on her feet with her staff ready to smash a bad guy in the **face**.

**_BANG_ **

Her door flew open and Catra came tumbling through, looking just as lost and confused as Glimmer felt. She shook her head and looked around, eventually noticing Glimmer there with her staff, and Catra’s pupils blew so wide there was almost no color left. Her tail poofed up wildly, and even the fur on her shoulders fluffed.

“...are...are you okay?” Glimmer asked, slightly worried and slightly amused.

Catra opened her mouth only to get hit in the face by her own tail. Scaring her so badly that she squeak shrieked, popped in the air a good five feet before crashing back down, and chased her own tail. Which was the single best thing Glimmer had ever witnessed until Catra slammed face first into the open door with another loud crack.

“ARE YOU OKAY?” Glimmer dismissed her staff and began running over, that sounded like a broken nose at least!

Only Catra fluffed up, somehow miraculously, worse and took a swipe at her before fleeing down the hallway again.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, but when she did finally check the time it flashed a depressing 2:24 in the morning. Gross. With a groan she shut her door and got back on her bed. If Catra was gonna be weird and run away fine, Glimmer was too tired to care.

  
  


But, see, the thing is the next night-

  
  


**_SNICKSNACKSCRATCCCCCH_ **

“I will fucking kill her!” Glimmer tore her bed sheets off and hopped down the steps to rip her door open. 

Catra fell face first onto the floor, Melog hit her chest and transformed into an indistinct blob. And honestly? Glimmer would have accepted that Catra was dicking with her for three nights in a row. But Melog? No! Melog was a good and precious baby girl! So if she was a hot mess too, then it meant Catra was actually having a problem.

For all that Glimmer actually **did** care she was exhausted and all she could manage was a single, “Well shit.”

Catra lay still on the floor clutching at her face, rolling onto her back and wiggling as Melog mournfully yowled. Oh yeah, she had smashed her nose last night too hadn’t she? Glimmer grabbed them both, one by the arm and the other by it’s mind twistingly ever changing shape and teleported them to the outskirts of the whispering woods. 

“Stay!”

Another few poofs and sparkles later found Glimmer, still exhausted and in her PJs, and Entrapta who looked like she had just woken up.

“-what I mean is how far is your limit? Do you know? What happens if you try to go past? Can you end up in rock or missing limbs!?”

Glimmer groaned, couldn’t even care as Entrapta caught a few sparkle samples, and pointed. Catra had started almost bouncing off the trees and Melog was...well, at least she was almost cat shaped again.

“Oooooh,” Entrapta said, as if suddenly everything in the world made sense. From one of her pockets, her hair pulled out a red laser pointer and put the dot right in front of Catra’s face. Catra who stopped dead in her tracks, tail slowly swishing as she hunkered down and watched. Glimmer tried to speak up only for another few strands of hair to cover her mouth. Crouched on the ground, hands between her feet, Catra lowered her head, wiggled her butt, and pounced; coming up with handfuls of grass and soil as Entrapta flicked the laser up a tree. Which Catra zipped right up, tearing the poor thing’s bark and side to shreds; jumping tree to unfortunate tree as she followed the dot.

Right up until her and Melog collided with one another. And then hissed at each other.

Entrapta skillfully ran the laser between them to catch their attention before sending them on a wild run.

“Huwa uh oock?” Glimmer asked, spitting a little as the hair pulled away and out of her mouth

“Oh yeah, sometimes when Catra doesn’t get enough enrichment she gets what Scorpia called,” Entrapta pulled out her recorder, expertly rewinding to play Scorpia’s voice. “ _Oh yeah she just, you know, ZOOM, ha ha! Isn’t that great, man she is just so talented! OH- let’s call them zoomies!”_ Entrapta spoke in time with her recorded self, “Sure, that tracks.”

Glimmer watched as both cats toppled over one another again before Melog took off like a shot leaving Catra panting on her back. “Okay, so she’s not...what? Exercising enough?”

“Mmmmmeeeehh,” Entrapta wiggled a hand, “exercise and fighting are definitely good outlets, but she also might just be bored out of her gord and not taking necessary steps to cure that out of wanting to ‘not look like a dweeb’ as she would say.”

Catra slowly peeled herself off the ground, hunched over as she turned to watch Melog crash face first into a bush. Shaking her whole body to free up some of the dirt she’d rolled around in, Catra drug her feet as she went to stand with Glimmer and Entrapta. There was a a genuine casualness to how she crossed her arms and popped a hip out. Which only made it worse when she said, “Sup.”

“Are you kidding me?” Glimmer groused.

“What!? I can’t control it!” Catra hissed, tail wrapping around her waist.

“Is that **really** your excuse for fucking up my sleep schedule?”

“Oh no,” Catra smirked, “that was by design, but the energy thing? Nah. Don’t you ever just PWAH!” 

Catra spread her fingers wide almost like she was pantomiming an explosion.

“No!” Glimmer shouted, then after a split second to fully think through what she’d been told squawked, “Hey!”

“Seriously? You’ve never just, like, gone for a 10 mile run at three in the morning?”

Glimmer could only try to picture that moment, what would cause her to willingly run 10 miles instead of teleporting. “No!”

“Huh, weird,” Catra seemed genuinely confused by that, before shrugging. “Yeah, back when the biggest thing about me was my hair, sometimes I’d slip out and just run the track for a while. If I was lucky Adora would join and we’d race each other, and then we’d both get in so much trouble the next day! Ha! Well, I mean, Adora would be told to watch her sleeping habits and Weaver would keep me up a few days BUT worth it!”

“Catra, no.” 

“What?”

When Glimmer just looked at her sadly Catra scrunched her nose in thought. “Oh. Well, it was.”

“That’s fucked up dude.”

“Meh,” Catra wiggled her hand and waved when Melog whipped around to find her, before running after the laser again, “It wasn’t that bad.”

“That’s child abuse!”

“We’re talking about the same Shadow Weaver right? The one who went out doing what she loved? Abusing children?”

Glimmer pinched the bridge of her nose. There was no working through that trauma at whatever time it was just because Catra chased a laser pointer. “You know what? Later. When we’re more awake and I have Bow and Adora and Scorpia-”

“H-hey, wait!”

“-and Perfuma and Sea Hawk and-”

“Fucking!? Don’t you dare!!!”

“-don’t even know _how_ I’ll find Razz but I will and then we are gonna **dog pile you, you stupid cat**.”

“I can’t believe this, I thought we were friends! How dare you-” Catra was cut off as Entrapta flashed the laser onto her Catra’s hand. There was a loaded pause as Catra’s pupils blew wide open again. She took a swipe at it, missed, hissed, and then was off like a bolt.

“...ugh, that could’ve gone better.” Glimmer muttered.

But Entrapta just shrugged, “It could’ve gone a lot worse too! She took that much better from you than she ever did from Scorpia. Fascinating!”

Glimmer growled into her hands before slapping herself twice across the face, and in her most calm and put together voice asked, “Can I get a laser from you?”

  
  


Two weeks later, that turned out to be a very bad idea.

  
  


Bow’s mouth hung wide open as he looked around, Adora huffed an annoyed sigh even as Perfuma sobbed a pitiful, “Whhyy!?” against one of the destroyed trees.

“Okay,” Bow took a slow deep breath and Adora and Perfuma got to work, and then rounded on them, “Who wants to tell me what happened?”

Catra snickered, watching with delight as Glimmer tried to sink into the planet’s core. Entrapta opened her mouth only to get cut off.

“Entrapta, I love you. You are a dear friend to me, but I also know this wasn’t your idea...you were an enabler which is why you’re here.” Bow pointed with both hands pressed together before turning to the other two culprits.

“Ooooh, doesn’t feel so good does it Sparkles?” Catra whispered giddily.

Glimmer sighed, scrubbed at her face, and then did her best. “Okay, so, here’s the thing-”

It turned out that she was just as bad as any of the Super Pal Trio at explaining things.

Catra was sentenced to a daily exercise regime which Adora was a bit too eager to help her with and three days a week having a study session with Bow. Which was light when compared to Glimmer honestly.

“You can’t ground me!” She gasped.

Bow stared her down, “Now it’s two weeks and no ice cream. You wanna keep going? I can do this all day.”

“Bow!”

“Two weeks and no desserts period.”

Glimmer gasped, tears in the corner of her eyes, “You monster!”

“YOU DESTROYED THE WHISPERING WOODS GLIMMER! How can you sleep at night!?” There was a long pause before Bow’s eye twitched. “Glimmer. Glimmer don’t you dare-”

“Like. A. Baby!”

Adora restrained him by the arm and groaned, “No! Bow, do you wanna be the ruler of Brightmoon?”

“I have suffered _enough_ ,” He moaned before jabbing a finger at Glimmer, “Fine, two weeks no desserts, and afterwards you still have to be the responsible queen.”

Which, really, was its own punishment.


	9. Strawberry Shortcake, Blueberry Pie...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lynda and Terra reunite at last, Melog is a little shit, Madam Razz vibe checks Catra, and Bow experiences his villain origin story.
> 
> Honestly, this is par for the course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smithereens, I would like to formally apologize because I swear the outline was Madam Razz and Perfuma teaming up on Glimmer and Catra. But, then, like, Perfuma refused and Glimmer went rogue and then everyone wanted to be evil again and it kinda got out of hand.
> 
> Sorry! But also! I hope you enjoy the insanity!
> 
> And yes, Melog is She/He/They and my non-binary ass will die on this hill.

The Whispering Woods had regrown before Glimmer’s sentence was up, looking pristine once more. But Perfuma had declared that none of them had a true respect or appreciation for nature (except Scorpia, who was an angel that she was thrilled to have there), and as such she was going to take them into the woods to forge a deeper bond with the planet.

It had kind of devolved from there.

Adora and, of all people considering her new relaxed attitude in life, Catra had packed like they were going on a military march with three sets of clothes bundled in what Glimmer was certain was physically impossibly small tubes. They had two liters of water each, MREs, emergency heat blankets, water purifiers, and had their sleeping rolls stored under their matching gray rucksacks. The only difference seemed to be that Adora brought a utility knife and flint, while Catra brought a map and compass. Scorpia had arrived with a large floral printed bag with her and Perfuma’s supplies, but on seeing her two friends she’d laughed.

“Oh man, classic survival packing! Where did you even find two of those ugly rucksacks? I thought they’d been repurposed.” But when Catra and Adora had just looked at each other in complete confusion Scorpia had snickered. “Aw, don’t worry about it! Very professional looking!”

Glimmer had her old Rebellion travel pack, which she had not packed efficiently considering they were only spending one night in the woods for a weekend retreat. Entrapta, who had brought nothing, yet always seemed to have a dizzying array of measuring tools, had been scuttling circles around them as she...did whatever it was she was doing. Taking samples maybe? Entrapta’s cackle echoed hauntingly around them. Glimmer took a few subtle steps to stand closer to her friends. Creepy as  _ fuck _ ...FOR SCIENCE!

Even Melog had dutifully trudged alongside Catra, although they weren’t burdened with any gear. They had been about to leave them when Catra dragged them bodily out of the castle seething that everyone had forgotten Melog is, in their own words, “ _ A sentient little shit who gets away with it by playing dumb _ .”

They spent almost three hours just hiking to the grove Perfuma had in mind, and she allowed another hour for them to set up before pulling them all back to a warm up drumming circle which included Scorpia playing a tambourine (“ _ It’s the claws, if my concentration isn’t perfect I just punch right through. So this is a lot easier! And, also, listen to that sound- oh! I love it, I could listen to that all day! _ ”) and Melog meowed out a hauntingly beautiful series of notes. It ended when Adora and Catra somehow found a way to make drumming a competitive sport, which had been amazing and she may or may not have encouraged them. 

When Perfuma turned her narrowed gaze on her, Glimmer smiled and shrugged, after all, it  _ was _ still Adora and Catra.

The rest of the day was spent learning about mindfulness before spending hours on hours silently being mindful and occasionally silently meditating to connect with nature. Had she mentioned the silent part? Painfully silent. Not even getting to say a word as Melog clearly fell asleep and Catra looked two seconds from screaming.

Or at least, mindful meditation had been the plan.

Around hour five of the trip, Glimmer had snuck a peak to see if everyone else still had their eyes closed, only to come face to disturbingly close face with an old woman. Correction, an ancient woman with terrible breath eating blueberries.

“AH!” Glimmer teleported backwards in surprise, but only after flailing and nearly tumbling ass over hat.

Everyone else sprung into action, up and magic powers primed. Catra had unsheathed her claws and snarled towards the potential threat. Which almost made up for Glimmer over reacting. Adora lowered her fists first with an equally exhausted but fond smile.

“Oh, hello Madam Razz,” Adora waved.

“Hello dearie,” Madam Razz waved back with her berry stained hand, “I thought I’d check to make sure everyone was alright. It was so quiet! And I’ve never seen any of you so still.”

“We were meditating,” Perfuma smiled and waved to a free spot, “would you like to join us?”

“Do I know you?” Madam Razz squinted at them suspiciously.

Glimmer elbowed Catra hard when she muttered a surly, “What the fuck?”

She might not really ‘get’ Razz, but she did respect the old woman immensely for her powers, her dedication, and her willingness to try and brow beat Adora into self love. Moons knows none of them had mastered that last one.

“Actually, no! I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Princess Perfuma from Plume-”

Madam Razz waved her broom around. Wait when had she gotten her broom? “Yes, yes! Alder I would recognize you anywhere!”

Perfuma chortled, charmed and patient as could be; for now. “Alder was my father, I’m Perfuma.”

“Who?”

Adora made significant eye contact with her, and Glimmer sighed heavily before asking, “What can we do for you Madam Razz?”

Razz didn’t answer, instead opting to check out some of the drums Perfuma had brought before finding one apparently not to her liking. Well, that’s what Glimmer assumed when she began to hit the thing with her broom creating a pleasant dum-tish sound.

Catra rolled her eyes before muttering, “Crazy old coot.”

Here was the thing, Glimmer was here because she’d been in trouble. In fact, Bow had bemoaned that the longer she spent chasing the Super Pal Trio down the more and more trouble she seemed to be in. Which was almost like saying she was anything like Catra. No. No thank you. Glimmer willfully had pushed any recognition of that being vaguely true deep down, and decided she needed to stop herself from becoming  _ more _ like Catra in any way shape or form. And she did actually feel supremely bad after listening to Perfuma talk about the pain of the trees. So she’d actually come on the retreat fully intending to give it a genuine effort. To silently exist with the planet; the flora and fauna and magic. To find a new connection or appreciation for their protector; the Whispering Woods. She didn’t even do it because it was Bow’s home, Glimmer wanted to because she felt genuinely bad.

And she knew that as soon as she opened her mouth, she was throwing all of that aside just to be a dick to Catra.

...

Worth it.

“Actually, Madam Razz, I was hoping to introduce you to Catra!” Glimmer said, slinging an arm around her frenemy’s stiff shoulders.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Catra hissed at her as she wiggled and struggled to get away without looking like it and getting sentenced to a second weekend in the woods.

Glimmer smiled as benevolently as she could, “She’s new to the whole existence isn’t a curse and life isn’t a prison thing. I’ve been trying to help her realize that life isn’t a party where she’s the pinata, and thought you might have some advice.”

Catra stopped her half assed escape attempts and glared, hand pressed over her heart, “You fucking traitor!”

Glimmer tightened her arm around Catra’s furry little neck and hissed through her smile, “I warned you about Madam Razz, Horde Scum. I warned you bro.”

Razz, for her part, adjusted her glasses critically before walking over. There was a long pause as she looked up at Catra who was doing her level best to not growl. And then she promptly began hitting Catra’s knees with her broom. “YOU! Razz-le! Dazz-le! Razz-le! Dazz-le!”

Adora scooped the old woman up by her armpits, her tattered dress flapping in the breeze and giving them all an unfortunate look at her panties. Meanwhile, Glimmer practically had to put Catra in a joint lock to prevent a murder.

“No respect!” Madam Razz shouted before throwing her broom and knocking Entrapta out of the trees. “Neither of you! No respect for the woods!”

“Yes!” Perfuma said, perhaps a bit too joyfully to be believed, “That’s why we’re here. So they can learn to respect the woods.”

Scorpia chuckled nervously, eyes darting between everyone. “Whooo, yup! That’s, uh, that’s us! Just connecting with the magic of the woods. Starting a conversation with the whispering part of the Whispering Woods. Just, giving it the old Junior Cadet try! That’s us! Right now!”

Entrapta was muttering into her recorder before looking at Madam Razz. “You are incorrect. I have respect for the Whispering Woods, they are a fascinating study in the ways nature can draw upon magical resources which have become much more prevalent now that She-Ra activated the heart. They are unique and one of a kind, and I’ve been working on a hypothesis for a while that they’re at least partially sentient and thus if they are unhappy with us using them to our benefit they will summon giant bugs made of first ones tech to kill us outright. ...ISN’T THAT GREAT!?”

Glimmer felt herself get a little dizzy as she looked around the tree tops, as if they would shift into an evil grin before releasing the giant bugs. Why was it always bugs and spiders with Entrapta and tech?

“Huh, yes, that too!” Madam Razz cackled, somehow slipping between Adora’s fingers like smoke. Impressive, and a little creepy. “You aren’t a bad person Entrapta, but you must remember to take all the variables into account before taking action.”

“That is correct!” Entrapta nodded with a smile, either unbothered or unaffected by a feral, time traveling, wood sorceress lecturing her on interpersonal skills. 

“But you…” Razz turned again to look at Catra, squinting and quiet before her eyes went perfectly clear. “You are trying dearie, you are trying your hardest for all you pretend you don’t care. It is okay to be wrong. Failure is how we learn! It is the seeds from which we can grow into who we truly wish to be. I know you can get there! Honestly, you must learn to accept that you are not a curse!”

Catra, unlike Entrapta, was not unbothered or unaffected by the feral, time traveling, wood sorceress lecturing her. Oh no. Catra’s ears had pinned back and her breathing had gone too fast as her eyes flicked back and forth between Razz’s. 

Honestly this wasn’t the call out Glimmer intended, but she’d take it. Someone had to eventually get through to her, and if Razz could batter Adora’s defenses into recognizing that her worth was more than dying for someone, then she could certainly get Catra over the last few major hurdles.

“What the hell do you know!?” Catra finally snarled, a low growl sounding from her chest.

Razz smiled as if Catra had offered her something beautiful. “More and less than you might think. But what  **_do_ ** I know, eh? I’m just a crazy old woman!” She laughed so hard she had to wipe away a few errant tears.

And Adora sheepishly watching this whole debacle unfold started to nervously laugh alongside her. “Ha ha ha, is this- is this a good laugh or a bad laugh?”

“A good laugh this time,” Madam Razz assured before glaring at Glimmer and Catra equally, “as long as there is no wanton destruction of the woods and you ask permission first that is.”

The two turned to look at one another and Glimmer managed to not blush when they ended up far too close together, like, nose to nose close together.  _ Not the time or place! _ Instead she turned forward again and gave her solemn vow, “We will, I promise.”

“Good, good!” Madam Razz began to totter out of the clearing without so much as a goodbye, but her muttering still floated back just loud enough to hear. “Promise what? Who was that cat?”

Everyone sort of nervously looked back and forth, startling when Melog dropped out of the branches above Catra to wind around her legs with a concerned cry and purr. Catra blinked slowly, looking down and tilting her head before hissing, “You brought her here didn’t you.”

Melog didn’t appear to say anything, their face didn’t change a bit, and yet, Glimmer was pretty sure this was the smuggest look they’d ever looked in their life.

“...thank you.” Catra ground out before wiggling out of Glimmer’s grip to pounce her companion. “Don’t you ever do that again! I can stop feeding you bacon whenever I  **want** !”

The two growled, and then Melog daintily bopped Catra on the head. With one more smug huff, they sashayed away into the trees once more.

“You know what?” Catra asked rhetorically. “I changed my mind. I no longer want love, I’m evil again and I’m going to burn these woods down to take all of you out.”

“Huh, that does make a difficult dilemma.” Entrapta tapped her chin a few times. “Afterall, you have proven that you really  _ are _ my friend, and one of my best friends. So I suppose if you’ve returned to evil I can join you.”

“...’Trapta, it’s a jo-” But Catra didn’t get to finish.

“Oooohhh,” Scorpia looked at them and then at Perfuma, practically dancing on her tippy toes with anxiety, “Oh man that is tough! Oof! Super Pal Trio reunion tour is, like, all I’ve ever dreamed of! But Perfuma-”

Perfuma giggled, waggling her eyebrows dramatically, “I can go with you! It’ll be like Lynda and Terra get to reunite!”

“Wait-” Catra clawed at her face in frustration.

“No!” Adora was red in the face and her eyes were a little watery with how upset she was before declaring, “Me and Glimmer haven’t gotten to be evil either, and we can’t all be evil! Someone has to be the good guy!”

Glimmer snickered as Catra looked at her helplessly. “Glimmer-”

“Oh no, I’m living for this. But also,” she let herself smile as evily as possible. Aiming for dastardly as she continued, “You know who isn’t here to go villain? The man responsible for this. Bow.”

Catra slowly smiled, all fangs as she nodded. “Bow, yeah, I think his majesty King Bow of Brightmoon might need a group of, uh, what are we? Not Horde right?”

“Well we’ve already got our names! So you can be, mmmmm,” Scorpia clacked her claws together before pointing at Entrapta, “Es’tra! Huh? Huh!? Pretty good right?”

“I didn’t earn my doctorate to not be called Dr. Vesselak!” Entrapta huffed, but didn’t change anything about herself as she played along...as herself with a different name. “Catra, you can be Catara.”

“Ew, pass,” Catra grumbled. “Why doesn’t Sparkles get a stupid name?”

Glimmer fluttered her eyes, “I’m the queen. Just, the evil queen now.”

Adora cleared her throat loudly, posing in what Glimmer guessed was meant to be an intimidating pose. “Hey now Ca-Catara! I, uhm, Force Commander, er, Despara demand you respect Dr. Vessel, uh, Dr. Vess-”

“Vesselak,” Entrapta supplied.

“Yes, right!” Adora cleared her throat, “Dr. Vesselak!”

“...anyone still interested in that free mercy killing?” Catra asked right as Melog dropped from the tree branches a second, somehow even more dramatic time.

And proceeded to scare the ever loving shit out of them as they had shifted to their original more humanoid form. 

With none of her now evil friends willing to mercy kill, as that would be admitting there was good in them, Catara gave up quickly enough in the name of harassing their sunshine boy. Their overnight camping trip swiftly forgotten amongst the muttering about giant bugs and really over the top villain origin story monologues as they hiked back towards the castle.

Bow somehow managed to not fling himself off the bridge as he watched the whole gaggle of them march to the front door while pounding away on Perfuma’s drums; and some of them managing to nail their evil laughs far better than the others. He had the grace to wait until they had surrounded him before whining, “Awwwww guys, c’mon, why don’t I get to be evil?”

“Yeah, good luck with that  _ Kyle _ ,” Catra grinned viciously as he gasped.

“You take that back!”

“Nah.”

Bow clenched his fist dramatically. Sinking nearly into a horse stance before slowly lifting his head. “This is my villain origin story.”

Which was how Micah found himself surrounded by seven people cackling and making terribly acted threats. He smiled bright, “Well hey there sports! What game are we playing?”

Which handily ended the whole affair, and it was never spoken of again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not 100% in love with this, but how can you NOT like everyone forming and eeeeeeeevil drumming circle only for Micah Moon to destroy everyone by being unable to relate to kids?

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the dealio y'all: 
> 
> Send me your favorite words/scenario prompts and I will work them into this as much as possible! Nothing off limits, this is crack folks, hit me.
> 
> Check out this fan art from Ch5 by [Suricata-Passer](https://nny11writes.tumblr.com/post/612967672675778560/suricata-passer-that-does-make-sound-logical) on tumblr!


End file.
